girl talk

i like this boy          i

whisper tipsily          wisps

of smiling smoke lift 

the words to her ears

why? he's a dick          she

replies          eyes

misty from the cigarettes

it's what i want

not what i want

to want          he's got 

such complete contempt for the world

i wonder what it's like to be 

inside it          sensing a faint interest i continue

there’s a line connecting us

on this end of the line i receive coldness 

which has to come from somewhere

on the other end there must be warmth         beyond 

the contempt, you see, 

there must be love          surely

only love for himself          she 

rejoins          

do you want to be him         here my heart

very wisely resolves not to say any more

because i do not know

but my brain and body, ever recalcitrant, ignore it

and i talk to her

about love hope 

wishes

and other such matters of global significance

smoke settles on the pale pink cushions

and time passes around us 

the sun rises 

i grow less forthcoming

and she is less interested

light pours in sadly through the window 

and i smile and say farewell